I know I should have…

It’s cool how we both share very very similar characteristics, but it’s bad how we both happen to be too scared to speak to the other. Recessive it might be, but what I think I’ve realised is a real-life example of sharing genes…

I know I should have spoken to you because we both know time is running short. Anytime now, you would leave and never come back – and if you do, it’d be years later. You know that too, so I’m sorry for escaping a conversation that would ideally last for a few hours, with just a “Hi”… and what did you say? Just “Hello”.
I should have smiled at you, I know. Smile, I did but how long was the smile? It was just an apology for looking your way. The smiles I always give you are short, and then I look at the floor. If you were wondering why I always find the floor more interesting, well, the floor doesn’t smile back at me which also means that I don’t have to be embarrassed. Cooler the person, higher the rate of embarrassment, so I think you get what I mean.
I’m sorry for being strangely fascinated by the sky everytime you were around. I believe it’s kind of like “experimenter’s effect”… you’re not testing me but I’m aware of the fact that you’re watching me, watching every move, recording this moment for now and for home.
I know I ought to tell you how much I long for the days I’d see you – if you’re reading this right now, then you know… But I should tell you in person, which I never get the confidence to do.
People around me would not realise anything because that’s how I usually am around anyone representing this category of yours, but you and I know this isn’t the best. I’m sorry about it because I still see you as a “Higher Mortal” – it’s hard for me to change that but I’ll try.
You’ve probably realised all this because you couldn’t smile at me, you couldn’t speak to me, you couldn’t stop me from staring at you, and you couldn’t grab the courage to wave at me. You know how bad it feels as much as I do… so, to put down those barriers before time runs out let me try and grab all the courage I can possibly muster to speak to you the next time…


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. whats your wpm?
    Mar 11, 2012 @ 11:05:45

    “Things just ain’t the same for gangsters/ but I’m a little too famous to shoot these pranksters”


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