Tonight’ll be great!

Tonight, two of my closest friends need to speak a few words on stage (at the biggest school event of the year) and they both confessed that they were nervous. I don’t see why they, of all people should be nervous. Last night, one of them told me again that she was nervous and I replied that she shouldn’t be but the 140 character limit on a text message didn’t allow me to say all that I wanted. So here goes:

You alone were chosen. It was you they chose, and they did it for a reason. When something so big is hosted for the first time, they obviously wanted the best… and they wanted you. So many people, a ten thousand people were looked at but it was you alone they chose. It is your turn to prove their choice right… your turn to shine. Your turn to show those who laughed at you that they were wrong. It’s your turn and it’s yours alone. Show them, go show them  all. Show your whole country what we’ve got. Make us all proud… proud to be in the same school, proud to be friends, proud that we’ve known you before them. Nothing can go wrong with those endless days of practice, the sacrifices and the determination. You missed all those lessons and an intense game of truth or dare for this reason and so you need to put all those hours of practice into work. Tonight, they would all look at you and awe at how good the two of you are at what you are doing. You’d be all dressed up and proud to be the ones on stage instead of all those other people. They would all look up to you, even want to be you. You would be role models… they’d want to spark a conversation. There’s no need you need to be afraid – because all you’ve ever done in your life is make people smile, this is just another one of those moments for you. It’s only a bit more large scale. For once, tonight, people would be listening to the one speaking… because this time the person speaking would be worth listening to. Because it would be you speaking. You’d be ready to make our school proud, and you would succeed. There’s no question about that. You would be spoken of for the rest of time… because you’re worth it.


To my Brother,

To the boy who who’s seen me through it all: good, bad, nice and wicked. To the one who loved me unconditionally. To my brother.

I might have ‘blackmailed’ him, I might have ‘threatened’ him but how much he taught me through those little arguments, he’ll never know. He’s made me cry and I’ve shouted at him but if it was not for him I would have never known when to be hurt and when not to. He taught me how to defend myself when I think I’m right and he’s wrong. He said he was teaching me karate and I believed him. He taught me through this that lies could be disguised as the truth. He mocked at me for listening to the same song repeatedly but later that day he asked me the lyrics to the very same song. He gifted me the album with that song in it and said inaudibly that I shouldn’t change who I am just because someone else doesn’t agree with what I do. He slept on the grass, threw the tennis ball into the air and asked me to catch it. If I had dropped it, it would have hit his head but through this I learnt that the one who trusts their life with me is the one who loves me. He came to every one of my school events and stood besides me, and I learnt that age should never be a barrier to the love you have for your younger sister. He chased me up sand hills, I won a game of rugger against him, and we played a hell of a lot of cricket together. Through it all I learnt to share victory and accept defeat. He was not ashamed when I fell in front of all his friends, he was not ashamed to comfort a little crying girl, he was never ashamed to call me his sister… and I’ve realised how lucky I am to have him in my life.

A run through of this year

Tomorrow I’ll be starting year 13 and I think I need to post something today. I want to share with all of you what this year has been.
This year (it was actually last year but the beginning of year 12) kicked off with new class teachers and a lot of new students. Those who left school were replaced with a lot of new students. While we missed those who left, we also found ourselves some good friends. My class had an addition of three boys while five girls left. The only other girl,Dullari, didn’t come to school until the beginning of September (-______- still slightly mad at you Dullari, nah I’m just kidding). By default, I was given the task of being monitor (thank you Thisun and Sajith for shining a good light on me to our class teacher before I came into the class that day) along with Kaveesh… and thankfully Kaveesh isn’t as afraid as I am of the staff room so he took total responsibility of taking and returning the class record book from our class teacher everyday.
And then came the Science Exhibition. The end result was said to be stunning but only the year 12’s knew the hardships we had to face to make it look so good. There were lots of arguments even before we started planning (it came with the division of the groups) and lots of screaming out of frustration and lots of scribbling out sketches. This gave us a good opportunity to work till we were out of breath and team work and walking into the forest next to our school to turn the half-built auditorium into the five biomes. Though it seemed very out of reach we did it and we did it well.  The highlight was definitely the waterfall, headed by Kaveesh. I built some strong friendships during these hurried preparations with people I thought just existed.
Then we got busy with studies for a while until the sportsmeet and awards ceremony. Nothing very special happened during this time so I’m not going to elaborate on it.
Some of the exciting things that happened during this year are our breaking into the year 4 class every once in a while. It was usually their break when we had physics on Thursadays and when we did have the chance, Dullari, Bimsara and I went into the primary territory. A lot of them happened to know Bimsara since he had been helping out in sportsmeet selections and stuff, a lot of them also happened to know Dullari since her cousin was in that class. Poor me, as awkward as ever, stood there hoping someone would want to be my friend. They would stare at me and ask me something and I wouldn’t know how to answer it and then they would probably think I wouldn’t make a good friend and walk away. But I did enjoy the visits. The funniest thing was when Bimsara was trying out his revenge (for no apparent reason) on Dullari through his little friends. They started calling Dullari “Archie Akki” (thanks to Bimsara) and chasing her around. I also need to credit Dullari for introducing me to a girl from that class who I may now call friend because she smiles at me whenever we cross (that’s being friends, right?)
This was also the year that our school auditorium was declared open and we had a choir festival which I failed to attend. But I did go for “The Closet”, a fashion show and it was fun seeing my friends model and  listen to Flight of Bullets (trust me when I say that the best boy band in the whole of Sri Lanka) perform their first original song “Miulasiye”
Another highlight if this year was the release of Sam’s book “In a head like mine” … you should read it if you haven’t. It’s really cool and has lots of Sam’s hilarious illustrations. Devmini was kinda mad that I got an early copy but she forgot she was mad at me at the end of the day.
We also had a really fun Halloween party even if it was a little late. To put in Sajith’s words, “she didn’t watch the movie, her bag did.” And I didn’t dance when everyone else did but I did enjoy all the fireworks.
There was also something called the “Techno Nite” where supposedly people could dance. Without doubt, I didn’t go for that.
We also had the annual “Footsal” and with it came the boys looking for girls to complete their teams. The teams had to consist of three boys and two girls and congratulations to our class team for being first runner up.
Avurudu celebrations were a lot of fun. I was the only person from the entire grade who went in uniform. The girls dressed up in sarees and the boys in national dresses. It was nice to see the school in such bright colours. The Avurudu Kumari and kumaraya were crowned and I really liked the choice of winners.
With all the busy scheduling we didn’t miss out the Food Stalls. We had a French stall and of course we did great. We had this Grape juice (secret ingredients used) which literally brought the whole crowd to our stall. Whoever who came up with the idea, I think it was initially Aaquil, great job there.
How could I have missed the class trip? It was at the very beginning and it was very very cool. We went to Trincomalee and had loads of fun in the sun, the beach and the bus. We had good food and a chance to visit the naval museum. Who would want to miss that?! Some of us got lost in the museum and were glad we found the way in the end.
We had a very interesting drama competition and it was nice to see people could really act. The clubs also had fortnight assemblies that were very educating and so much fun to be a part of.
The last assembly, though, was conducted by the 13’s. It was a very nice way of saying goodbye and they also screened a movie.
Throughout this year, we had a lot of fun and we owe much of it to our teachers. Our class teacher, also the Maths teacher was very considerate and a perfect class teacher. The Further maths sir, I heard was very interesting and fun to learn from. Biology, without doubt was a lot of fun! Chemistry was good to learn in the lab with the coloured chemicals all around us. I love how we always fell silent when the door creaked, fearing that our teacher was approaching. Physics was very very practical with lots of talk about technology and cars (Dullari and I were lost whenever this happened). Also the subject where Amruth could hide bags most skillfully. I saved psychology for the end because it was the best. It was just the nine of us and none of them are going to say I’m wrong when I say psychology was always the period we looked forward to the most. All thanks to our very understanding teacher, we could be ourselves in the psychology period. There’s witty Sajith, insane Devmini, megamind Kawishwari, Dakshaka who was caught staring at a model in the book (‘hem ‘hem), Prabath who disappeared mid way through, quiet Charles and Ravindu, Naveen to whom looks mattered the most, and then there was me who was pointed a finger at for idolising Taylor Swift and calling her my role model (Never said yes, never said no) …
My teachers won’t change next year so I’ve got nothing to worry about the fun factor, but I had to pay that tribute to them!
To me and to all my friends, have fun next year!

The Boy and The Girl

I dreamt this and I had no idea what to do with it. Ended up writing it here =)

A sixteen year old girl and a nine year old boy sat side by side on a roughly cemented staircase leading it’s way to house, in an odd hour of the cold night, barely able to make out the faces from the light that was seeping through the open windows and doors of the brightly lit insides of the house. The boy’s head rested on the girl’s shoulder and her left arm was wrapped around him. From behind them watching were a small crowd of people, so quiet that the boy and the girl were completely unaware of their presence. Tears began to flow down the pink blushed cheeks of the girl and the boy tried to wipe them away. This just made her double up crying. Tears hit her dark blue denim trouser with clear indications of where they had fallen. The boy, acting braver than he actually was, looked at her and said,
“Don’t cry Zilou, I’ll stay with you. I don’t like them either.”
Realisation had a hard hitting effect on Zilou. It was fast, she choked on her breath and held the boys head close to her and let the tears roll onto his hair. She wanted to sound clear and definite so she tried to push away whatever it was that made her feel like there was a lump of sand stuck in her throat,
“No, Al. You belong with them. You should be there, not here.”
The boy, like any other nine year old would, protested, “But I don’t like them! They are all selfish. You’re not like them, I want to be with you!”
Zilou smiled through the tears at how much he had grown up in three years and she thought it was time he received an explanation. She let go of Al’s head to look him fully in the face. Tears were now evidently making their way down his cheeks too. She held his face in both her hands and confessed her deepest fear,
“When you were small, you and I were the best-est friends of all time. You always picked me for your sister and I loved you more than anyone else could possibly love you. You had a lot to go through and I stood by you through it all. I watched the kind of action movies I hated for you, I drew pictures when I was supposed to be studying because you liked the pictures I drew. Our love was inseparable, or so we thought. When times changed and other problems were pushed in our way, we had no choice but to stay away from each other… that was the only way we could save you. But whenever you did see me, your eyes lit up just the way they used to when you and I pretended to be king and queen of our empire. I was afraid because I knew you would have been fed in with knowledge to grow to hate me, I was afraid that they had made something of you that you were truly not, and I was afraid that one day you would look at me and want to see me dead instead of wanting to play with me. But… you’ve grown up better than I expected. Surrounded by those people, you still managed to separate the good from the bad, and you made a wise decision to put me in the ‘good’ category. I’m glad you did. Today, you came as a surprise. I thought you’d look at me longingly and walk away like you always do, but when you escaped time and space to come and sit in the place you feared the most as a five year old, I knew you wanted company. This place was always what we were afraid of… ghosts, dogs and evil spirits were said to lurk around this place. Right now, we’re sitting in that very same place at such an untimely hour, and as they used to say, without the presence of someone who could fight away the spirits… because we know now that there are other things to worry about, besides ghosts and dogs. How could the boy who believed in only what I said a few years ago, grow into someone who understands reality better than his parents. But, Al, there’s one more thing you need to understand: though we truly love each other and promise to live in each other’s heart, you don’t belong to me. You belong to your family, even if they want me dead. You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. Go to them now. If they ask you to never see me again, then don’t. You will be in my heart and that is all that really matters.”
The moonlight through the broken branches of a mango tree shined on his twinkling eyes matched by his blue t-shirt,
“But… but, I don’t want to go there.”
The girl, also acting brave for her age, pulled him close, knelt on her knees and kissed his forehead. “I know you love me Al, and so do I, and as long as you keep me in your heart, I’ll be fine.”
She placed her hand on the left side of his chest as if showing her presence in his heart. He stood up and dusted the pair of black shorts he was sporting.
“I love you,” he said turning away from her with teary eyes.
Zilou looked into them and said, “I love you too Al, I love you. And if you still want to, you can always show them…”
Gently, she pushed Al away from her so that he could go and find his place in his family, where he belonged. Only now did the girl notice the audience they had been attracting and for once she didn’t want to run away from them. She knew they weren’t going to interrogate about her well-beings. She sat in an empty chair as the eyes slowly turned to her. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and realised there was an arm around her. Someone had come to her side.

It’s you we will miss…

7 days from now we would not belong to year 12. We’d be in year 13. We’d be stereotyped to be the ‘tough ones’ and it would mean the last year we get to spend at school. The place where we grew up, shared our pains and joys, laughed, loved and where we felt home. While we move on to year 13, the present year 13s would leave school. Eventhough I’ve never had a serious conversation with any one of them, they have always been there in my mind… I’ve never thought about it. It’s hard to think about how things would be without them. My friends may not quite agree with me but I wrote this poem for them, as a goodbye note… and in the meantime, I make a Peter Pan wish to Never Grow Up.

After all this time, after all the memories,
After you knew our joys and all our worries,
Should you leave already? Can’t you wait?
This comes purely from love, not hate.

The braniacs, the brilliant ones, the singers,
You were all special, in some way or another.
It’s true we were prejudiced and hatred ignited
But after every fight, we always reunited.

Just yesterday we laughed at ourselves
And believed in beautiful fairytales.
We knew this was coming but never thought of it
Just like we believed you until we were hit.

You tried to look cooler, we fought back,
We provoked you, and you did attack.
But we held hands at the end of the day
And then came March, April and May…

I can’t look at you now in fear of breaking down,
Together the 12’s and 13’s were a kind of our own.
No matter what we said, no matter what we did,
We loved you, and it’s you we will miss.