Thank you for 2012 :)

To anyone who’s ever crossed my mind… that’s everyone I’ve ever known πŸ™‚ P.S: This isn’t a recap of 2012.

2012 was a great year… there were it’s ups and it’s downs but I survived through it all… and I enjoyed every moment of it. I learnt of a lot of things… I learnt that things aren’t always as simple as they look. I understood what it feels like to be trusted. I felt responsible, and I felt like my opinions count as well. I learnt that there would always be people laughing at me, but I also learnt that not everyone would laugh at me. At the end of every day, I knew I was worth it… I didn’t let anyone shake me. I stood up for myself and for the truth. I didn’t keep quiet when someone was being hurt… Things came and went in 2012 just like any other year. I looked out into an empty playground and I knew that we were going to get through it all. When the playground was filled with my friends, I knew they’d fight through it all. I stood for my decision even when I was the only one… I decided to be unique instead of weird. I accepted myself for who I am, I didn’t want to live up to anyone’s expectations of me. I just wanted to be me. I made sure that every word I spoke, every move I made… I wasn’t hurting anyone. Every time I thought I had gone too far, I took a step back and looked at it. I distanced myself from everything that I had to… sometimes I distanced myself from my friends… because I’d rather be sad than having to be the reason for two people to be sad. I learnt that no matter how much I wish for some things, they would never come back. That didn’t stop me from dreaming of nice things… dreams are only the reality that can never happen. I came to understand that it doesn’t matter what people think, I’m wasn’t going to hate on them. It turned out people had issues with my height… and this made me happy. It meant that people noticed that I wasn’t like them – I was different, I was not the same, I was… me. I was hurt many many times in 2012 – I was sad not that they forgot me, but that they didn’t know they were forgetting me. Season’s spirits were messed up – instead of greeting cards, warm hugs and love, the only thing I really got was closed doors, death notes played on a piano, and being completely ignored. I saw a lot of fake smiles, and pretentious greetings. I told some of them I knew they were only pretending… the others, I took to believing what I just saw and let them think that I was fooled. I wrote down many explanations and many letters that I never gave to people. I told them I wrote it for them but I also told them I wouldn’t let them see it. I heard words I’ve never even dreamt of hearing. These words went straight into my ‘Quote Book’ and so far only one person has read every page of it. I realised that time wasn’t the solution to everything. When I thought time would ease things, it turned out time only made me miss them more… than ever before. I let some of my friends see right through me, I put my guard down. I felt like I was cheating them by asking them to smile when I couldn’t find a reason to smile myself. It wasn’t actually planned but I broke down into tears in front of someone who had never expected to see that from me. I became friends with two dogs… the cutest of the kind. I continued to fan-girl about Taylor Swift. Red is an amazing album! I ran staircases in school in 2012 more than ever before… I ran up, down and up again. The nice thing about this was that I was not alone. The “implied, imagined or actual presence” of my friends next to me made it all worth it. I was able to see my friends get up and high and reach their dreams. I was part of plans, I was the ‘BM’, I stood in the rain at dusk under an umbrella with my friend, I vlogged, I laughed, I cried, I lived…. I loved 2012 for all that it taught me. I love it for the reason that I survived through the 21st of December and the Chemistry past papers. I love it for the fact that I heard more about me from others than I had ever before. Why am I writing all this? It’s a simple reason and it’s obvious… I’m writing this because it was you who made me live through all of this. Without you… I wouldn’t have smiled or cried,Β  wouldn’t have laughed, I wouldn’t have even known what living through 2012 would have been like like without you in it. It was you who brought the colour to it, you who brought the nice endings to the sad stories and the sad endings to the nice ones. You were part of every moment I lived… and I thank you for that. May you have the strength to bear with my insanity in 2013 and in the years to come as well! πŸ˜€ Happy New Year to you all!

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. khaula naxir
    Jan 01, 2013 @ 09:25:42

    Happy New Year.
    πŸ™‚

    Reply

  2. melon03
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 03:04:08

    Have an awesome 2013 ahead!!!!! πŸ˜€ Happy new year

    Reply

  3. raspbewwies
    Jan 04, 2013 @ 12:24:37

    I loved this post ^_^ I’ve read your blog from time to time-the one before this-and I love how you appreciate the little things πŸ™‚ So many take it for granted. Happy New Year,and good luck with those exams πŸ˜€

    Reply

    • iwasneverheard
      Jan 04, 2013 @ 13:56:46

      Thank you for
      01. Reading my blog
      02. For liking my posts
      03. For wishing me for the exams (I still have no clue how I’m going to get through this!)…
      And, Happy New Year to you as well!

      Reply

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