Start Over

I don’t think I mean this… 

I want to start over, begin again, take a breath and not look back. I’m going to throw away the fears and jump in head first. I want to see what the world holds. I want to look at the distance and beyond that. I’ll keep my distance but I want to start over. I want to look at people without the fear of being stared back at. I want to stand there in front of them as if I’m not afraid of what’s going on in their minds. I want to start over like nothing in the past matters. I’m here and I want to be here tomorrow… only better. I’m doing it with every word and every action. I thought change was bad but change for the better can never be so bad. I’m finally here and I’m confident. I know I can handle this. I’m going to start over. I want to be fresh and new and I want to be better. Better than I am now, and getting better with every second. I want to start all over again. When I was at the age of understanding instructions, my parents must have said to me that I’ll meet people in my life and that they’d be nice to me. They must have taught me to be nice to them and to trust those around me. It must have been with their advice that I grew to trust people… and it was that trust that broke my heart. I lived up to their words but I didn’t get what I wanted… I didn’t get the happiness from those who stabbed me time and again. I gave up hope… I think I’ve given up for long enough. I think I’m ready to start over. I’m going to start over like I didn’t know anything about it… like I have just been taught to trust people and to believe the words they say. My parents say the same words to me still and they might be wrong but I’m ready to start all over again.

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