When your soul bleeds and you’ve run out of band-aid and your hands are trembling, you’ve lost. You’ve lost the fight and death won’t come any faster because you’ve lost. You’ve stopped fighting back but it’s going to hurt you just the same, or worse. The demons, they’re taking over you. The memories, they’re haunting you. And the fear in your fright makes you fear the frights a little more. They come back to you and they will remain with you – the sickest of thoughts, the dirtiest of memories, the pain of not being hurt. And when you die, they’ll come with you… they’ll lead you to your death and laugh when you can’t stand back up. The solution to all is nothing but the problem, and the problem is the solution. They’re one and the same and they always will be. Trying to change your mind will not change the simple fact that sometimes the question is the answer. It’ll take you down, sooner or later and you’ve got nothing to do because there’s just no chance against it. It’ll wear us all down, break us with time and we’ll watch our friends and siblings and role models die, watch as their last breath escapes them as they ask us never to give in. And what we do? Just that. We give in, we give up, we fall before we ever learn to walk, we lose ourselves before we know how to find the way back home. We’re wandering the world, trying to figure out people when we haven’t figured out ourselves. Idiots we are, but we won’t accept it. Yet, in the darkest hours in the night we’ll write words on our journals and diaries that no one else will ever read, cry to the pillows and draw faces in the darkness. We’re all dying, yet we hold on. We’ve lost faith, yet we survive. I’ve lost my friends but they’re still not strangers. Words, they’ve ceased to make sense yet I write them down.

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Aside

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Zeeshan
    Mar 17, 2014 @ 18:55:59

    Hope you’re doing okay, Zulaiha 🙂

    Reply

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