Not Sorry this time

Loneliness takes the best of me as I write about a person I would have never known if the bus hadn’t stopped at the wrong place that day. As I lay here in the quiet hours of the night with no sound but that of distant vehicles and my alarm clock ticking out today, and with no light but that from the little sheep of a night light I have, I’ve got no choice but to linger along the what-ifs and could-have-beens. The girl who refuses to be heard, speaks! What I miss the most about the new beginning is the presence of a champion, the words of an explorer, the stories of a survivor and the company of a healer. We thought it was unfortunate that the bus stopped but getting to know you was a privilege. And it took me some time to appreciate it. As darkness envelopes me the way your stories engulfed me, I miss your baffling theories on days like today, the otherwise boring days… the Philosophers we tried to be when the hours ran late and coke stained the bottom of my tea cup. Our secret spot awaits your return to count stars and map constellations, to tell stories and make more. The people on the streets below whose names we’ll never learn to spell cross my mind, all the cars we named after people, all the clouds we materialized in front of us, all the words exchanged from which lines stand out so clearly in my mind. Words of wisdom and some of foolishness that I’ve pulled out so many times out of a typed word document that I’m afraid I’ll draw the words out of the screen. Even when the ink runs dry, the words don’t die. This cold night reminds me of warm drinks and roasted marshmallows. Time passes by us pretty fast; tonight will tick away, tomorrow will be another day and once I dreaded that because I was afraid of getting to know you. I was afraid of knowing too much or knowing too little. In my mind were a thousand stories, endings and beginnings that could be you, none in which you were missed. I realize today that there’s only so many times that you can deny missing someone, and I’m not denying it today.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Zeeshan
    Nov 17, 2014 @ 18:39:24

    This was wonderful, Zulaiha! Hit me right in the feels 🙂


  2. LostInThoughts
    Nov 28, 2014 @ 10:07:50

    Reblogged this on Meandering Thoughts.


  3. Hashini Karunadhara
    Jan 20, 2015 @ 10:19:52

    ❤ it!!


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