Your Echoes

Because there’s always going to be a layer of dust settled on top of all the words you’ll ever speak. All I’ll hear are muffled cries of you drowning, drenched more in tears than in the water that will sooner or later take you down. And I’ll try to listen to you and I’ll realize you’re drowning but I can’t say from here what exactly you’re saying… because there’s only so much I can deduce from the of the past that rattle inside my heart and there’s so much more I’ll never know. The mist covers your body from mine so that I know you’re close enough but you’ll never be that much closer that you need to be. Since walls can be broken down and shield can fall apart, I’ve built my defense using words that you’ll never hear because my words will never be loud enough for you. You’ll scream words of love at me and I’ll smile because I want you to know I still hear you. But I won’t say anything more, afraid you’d hear me too. Along the road, you told me once that you really don’t care about anything I’ve got to say but secretly I sensed the sarcasm you wanted me not to know. You cared. It really did matter to you… but you pretended like it didn’t because you, like me, are afraid. You’re afraid of everything you echoes  may not hear and everything you would. I looked at you and you looked away because you knew you could paint a smile on your face but your eyes always betrayed you.. because I’ve seen them shine and I’ve seen them dry and I know the difference when you lie to me. Still, though, you never said I was deceiving you or that my heart was breaking yours. You said you appreciated my space, because you did too. You wanted to know more, but you never asked. You wanted to be heard, but you never spoke. You wanted to be there, but you never moved from where you were. You were afraid and I asked you not to be… You told me again and again that you forgot.. and I know you never did. I accept your lies the way you present them because I know that’s where your deepest secrets lie. I accept the love you give me because I know that makes you smile. You’ve been living a lie all your life but I don’t blame you, cos I have been too.

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