Sunshine, Rain, Fires and You.

And you can spend the rest of your life pretending nothing happened. And I can spend the rest of mine like I just met you.

Where we parted, we took a bit of each other in our hearts and I don’t know much about you but I can describe every bit of you in my heart so well, that if words were to fill every tiny speck of skin on you, I could read you off by-heart. The problem, though, is that you aren’t a written script or even a painting off your drawing book. You are the words the writer crossed out in his mind before his pen touched paper; you are the blend of colours that made themselves loud and clear on the bits of paper no one bothered looking at. And this part of you in me aches… for something so distant and forgotten, almost as if you’re trying to draw memories of a past that never was out of me so you can fill yourself up with the fantasies you dreamed of but never had. I know where you left off like the back of my hand, but you know what you remind me of? The way little kids stuff their feet into their mouth but grow up and realise they can’t anymore. I know you like the back of my hand but I can’t read you anymore. You’re just there… like a sky full of stars that never goes away, only just hides on particular days. Your memories litter my mind like a patchwork of shooting stars and blooming buds sewn in place by a hand tired of writing letters that would never be read, and even though I’ve wrapped my solitude in that very blanket I never throw it away. Because that’s where you are… where your words echo in the core of me; words of a place we dreamed of together that has lately being fading away.

I wonder if you want to know how much of that part of you I still carry with me… so let me tell you, that your memory is still as alive as the day you waltzed away into the rain. The gash is still as fresh as the day I fell because you did too, and it burns my heart, though not as much as your words burnt wildfires of an image of a person they never saw. But now the fires have been put out and even though the smoke is going to take an awfully long time to clear my eyes, I can still see the sky a little clearer than I did yesterday. The rain may make you happy but the sun makes me smile and I’ve finally grasped the courage to leave the rain behind and walk into sunshine.

If you’re still wondering if this is about you, allow me to let you know that you found your way to stop yourself from hearing too much from me but my heavy words still echo your name on empty spaces of the internet where words are the best disguise. Yes, this one is for you… as so are so many more.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Zeeshan
    Jan 14, 2015 @ 08:19:33

    This is simply beautiful, Zulaiha!


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