Fault Lines

We made promises to the thin sheet of air keeping your skin from touching mine and when our eyes met and I thought I could see right through them to where your thoughts were processed  and your mind worked with cogs and wheels to speak the words back to me, I thought I saw something. A fault line, a defective engine, something I could see but not make sense of. I wondered if I should call the rescue squad, but since they were busy having their grown up talks, you and I raced each other till we could no longer see the start point. Until we were sure to be lost, until there was no turning back to where we started from. When your fingers touched mine, I looked back at your eyes to try and solve the puzzle I hadn’t completed earlier. What I saw was layers of papers stuck between yourself and mine, high enough to cover you from me, but somehow your fingers brushed mine. Your mind was busy, and I liked watching it while trying to sort the pile of papers between us so we could end with twenty pages and two names. Twenty pages came with one name, and I read every word, every line, over and over again until I was sure I couldn’t see the things that weren’t there. I smiled for you, because you needed it even if not from me. I was hurt but hurting was not my kind of thing. It was alright, I promised myself.

The last time I saw you, the thin sheet of air had grown into a blanket that stood between us, thin enough to still see each other but thick enough to shield your mind from my eyes. I looked at your eyes, but I looked away, and that was the last time I saw those traces of broken cogs working to piece together a perfect mind. Now, we are exposed fault lines at the verge of gaping open to reveal volcanoes of lies and names that escaped our conversations.The fault lines; they’re all over. Between us, and in us.

Of course I’m alright.

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