So Close

You are so close to me. So close, that our skin almost touch. We’re so close, with our words filling in those two inches of heavy air between us… building and burning bridges. Almost complete, but never quite so. Your arm afraid to fall across my shoulder, your skin afraid of touching mine, your words careful not to pronounce the words your heart scream at me. We’re so close, my eyes everywhere but on you, my every other thought so outspoken. So close it hurts. So close that your secrets fall face first onto the floor. Your cards turned. Your life written between the breaths that I take. We’re so close that I inhale the air you exhale, and maybe that’s why it hurts so much to breathe with you next to me, walking in sync, a few millimeters from the heat of our secrets burning prints across our skin. So close that the warmth from the air between us melts rain drops. So close that looking at your is painless but the tears that spring taste like lost love.



You were my best kept secret; a mask of disguise. A chapter full of sorrows. A secret better kept than any of mine. This little secret of ours was too large for us to hold and so we drew circles around our dreams and promised to meet halfway through. We were always a distance apart, close enough to grasp the meaning of a conversation that never took place but so far apart that the words you spelled never reached me. We’re a memory that’s slowly fading away, drained of color from all the storms that we’ve weathered. We tried as hard as we could to avoid the corners of ourselves that were too ragged to be in our way; the people and places that were sharp enough to cut, deep enough to scar. Patterns of lullabies and forgotten letters. We had places to be , things to see but within the secret we were made up of, all we saw were blank spaces and the darkness of the future that we could barely picture. Looking at you feels like slaying dragons with plastic swords, like an apostrophe on a word someone forgot to add. Looking at you feels like embracing a sin I never committed, the mistake we never made.
We’re loud and alive, hidden between the pages and stars, we’re life and love torn apartĀ  at every page. We’re everything but a secret, and somehow you’re still my best kept secret. The only one that matters to me.