One day we won’t talk anymore

Do you sometimes look at someone and do you sometimes wonder if one day you’re not going to talk to them anymore?

One day we won’t talk anymore. And it’ll break my heart but I’ll tell myself that I always saw it coming. I’d type a message to you but I wouldn’t send it because I know that we had too many things to talk about once, and we still do but we’ve got too many things in between now. It’ll be sad and I’d write a post maybe on wordpress, maybe even put a note into a shoebox … something that talks about a diagnosis, or something that I’d wonder if you’d still remember. And I’ll wonder if you’d read it but I’d know for a fact that you won’t. So I’d pour my heart out, about how words were once our home and you were once a flip in the heartbeat. I’ll write about the minutes past 02:45, the lyrics to songs we were singing for ourselves and I’ll write about the courage you wore like a disgrace and the shoes you couldn’t fill.
One day we won’t talk anymore. So I’ll plug my earphones and I’ll turn up the volume as I listen to a Band of Horses, and I’d taste a tear that’ll slip down my cheek. I’d hurriedly wipe it away as if tears are things that we shunned away from. Because on that day, when we’d have so much to talk about but we wouldn’t, I would forget how I was once able to tell you about every tear on my face. I won’t explain because I wouldn’t be able to afford an explanation even though that was exactly what we were once made up of.
One day we won’t speak anymore but I’d see the cover to a book you spoke about and I’d pick it up… I would smile because I’ll remember how we exchanged stories about the books we’ve read and they were all somehow much much more than what the authors wrote for us. We didn’t realize it but we became our favorite story. But when we don’t speak anymore I’ll know that ours was the kind of story that couldn’t make it to the hard cover section because there were too many emotions, too many laughs and too many tears to revise.
I’ll notice you on the other side of the road one day, and I’ll wave at you. Your eyes will scan the crowd and you’ll turn away and I’ll wonder. I’ll always wonder, if I was never good enough for you. I’ll wonder if I lost too much to win too little, and I’ll remember how you were once afraid of the very same thing. And what I have lost will ironically weigh me down but I’ll smile and wave at the confused friend next to you.. because I’m always going to pretend you just didn’t see me. That you just overlooked me, oversaw me, slightly on purpose but mostly by mistake.
One day we won’t talk anymore, and maybe I’ll write to you.. but maybe I won’t. Maybe it’ll hurt too much, or maybe I’ll pretend like I’m good at forgetting. But you’ll know me like you know me now and you’ll know I’m writing to you to say thank you for showing me the world through your eyes, because even if for a moment.. I truly loved the view.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Thoughts, words and all things blurred.......
    Jan 23, 2017 @ 19:56:18

    The words…… the feel…. the depth!! is unimaginable…. This one is my fav 😉

    Reply

  2. Shri
    Mar 09, 2017 @ 17:30:00

    Love this ❤ ❤

    Reply

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